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It just wasn’t worth fretting over. At the clubhouse — as we made the turn to the back nine — we reported the offenders to the head golf professional, who assured us that we were keeping up with the group in front of us and were smart for letting him handle what could have been a dangerous situation. The group behind us did not bother us for the rest of the day, and after getting over the shock of their actions, my game was strong. I even birdied two holes on the back nine. I was thinking about that round of golf, and how we dealt with what could have been an explosive confrontation, and my mind wandered to some of the little things that make life a treasure. Like the time I threw a peach pit into the back yard and a wonderful tree miraculously emerged. Or seeing my dad walk a month after suffering a serious stroke. Times like we are living in tend to bring out a wealth of emotions. There is hate, there is love, and there is a special appreciation of the fragile nature of life. On. But somehow, I'm happy thatI was alive. While making coffee I counted the empty bottles of beer.11. Eleven. What. The. Fuck. That's a lot. And given the fact thatthere was quite a lot of alcohol the last weeks daily, I might haveanother problem as well.When I opened my emails, I couldn't believe what I saw. There was anemail from the therapist I drunkenly contacted last night. And notonly that, there was an appointment attached as well. For the upcomingFriday. Less than a week. Wow. All I needed to do was to reconfirm.And I did exactly that. Awesome.Now that I reached out for help, I was still caught in an emotionalrollercoaster. Yes, I felt better. But also, I don't. It was weird. Icouldn't sleep. For days. My mind was racing. I got about an hour ofsleep per night. Only because I was exhausted. Once my brain rechargeda bit and was back with all the thoughts. To be honest, I never feltthat awful. Yet.I was afraid that I chickened out of that appointment. Or won't beable to say.
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